NorThisNorThat

I’ve decided to get rid of all forms of social networking, i.e. Facebook (for now at least.. we’ll see??), but keep and hopefully update fairly frequently my tumblr account. I still need to express myself some way. 

Sooo.. changes once again.. yet of course. I moved once again yesterday to (BD’s) sis Joy and Mike’s house yesterday. We’ll see how long I live here.. hopefully not too long considering I’m taking over Justin’s room.. sorry guy. 

Right now it’s 8:32pm. I have work at 12:00 midnight. For the past hour, I’ve been tossing and turning, trying to force myself to sleep, but haven’t been successful. Ohhh grave yard.. I love & hate you. I have the shittest schedule.. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, & Sunday 12am-8am.. Blah! Oh well.. can’t complain, right?! It’s a job that I need at this point. I need to find another one since this is barely keeping my head a float.

Anywho, besides all of that.. today was a great day. I went hiking with Mike, Joy, and the kids (Rayden, Justin, & Jadelyn) at Manoa Falls. The waterfall was absolutely breathtaking. Yay, another hiking trail to check off my list. So far I’ve hiked Makapuu (several times), Koko Head, Palisades, and now Manoa Falls. I still need to do Diamond Head, Pill Box, etc.. and hopefully maybe if I’m bold enough and it’s still there, Stairway to Heaven. After hiking, we went to another a view point (I forgot what it’s called), but it overlooks all of Waikiki. I love checking out view points.

Anyway, enough jibber jabber for now..

I need to write. It’s been forever since I’ve done so, and I have so much bottled inside that needs to be released. Where do I begin?

About two and a half months ago, I moved to Hawaii (Sunday, April 10, 2011 to be exact). What was supposed to be only a one week family/friend trip for ate and Eddie’s wedding vow renewal, turned into a big move. While vacationing, I ended up getting a job at a coffee laungie lingerie truck called Wild Bean Espresso. I recently resigned from the position two days ago. It was definitely a lot of fun. It was a job for me to get my feet on the island, which I am so thankful for. I was working 2 jobs, non-stop, 60-80 hour weeks, these past two month. It’s was crazy!! Now, I am focused on working a 24 hour family friendly restaurant graveyard shift, which of course has it’s up and downs to it. Still, I am looking for more opportunities. We shall see. My ultimate goal is to bring my Evan here, and work a 8-4 (“normal” hours job, possibly a bank position), so I can care for Evan when he gets here. It’s been too long since we’ve been apart. It kills me! However, short term sacrifice for long term rewards. It’s going to happen!! I am living my dream of living in Hawaii and living the simple life. California, the Bay Area, in particular will always be home, but Hawaii is where I belong! I miss my family and friends soooo much!!! I’m forever torn between the two, the place I long to be and the people I long to be around. I wish I had lots of $$$ to travel back and forth often.. but like I said, in due time. Today, I can only be grateful for everything I do have and knowing that my Evan is in great hands. I hope Evan will somehow understand when he’s older the decisions I’m making.. I can only hope. I question from time to time.. Am I making the right decisions? Is what I’m doing right? Am I being too selfish? I am getting a lot of shit for being here.. being rediculed of being a “bad mom.” I am working hard and saving to stablize our future. I am determined! Working hard for simple living, ironic?

Sometimes you just need to stop giving a f*ck what people think!!

Life’s a trip..

Remain calm, cool, collected.

One step back = Two steps back. One step forward = Half step forward.